Friday, February 17, 2006
Waiting and Forgetting

"If pain must come, may it come quickly.
Because I have a life to live and I need to live it in the best way possible.
If he has to make a choice, may he make it now.
Then I will either wait for him or forget him.
Waiting is painful.
Forgetting is painful.
But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering..."

This was the text message I received from a friend of mine last night which really struck me.It really just frustrates me because why do things have to be so complicated for me? In the movies, the girl meets the guy, they exchange glances, they fall in love... and then live happily ever after. Well, this is the real world, things just don't work out the way we want it to be.
Before I thought, just any guy would do...any anatomically member of the male species, whatever he is, wherever he came from...as long as he would have interest in me and love me, it would be enough. But again, things don't work out that way. You just can't force yourself to like somebody just because you're lonely and he likes you. It would be unfair. It would be selfish. It would be just feeding your ego and your needs like a predator in the jungle...and i just can't live like that.
When it comes to relationships, I thought before that it would be just like in the movies, holding hands, doing sweet stuff , and all of those mushy things. But again, as I travel through my life, it isn't like that. And I hate myself for sometimes thinking too much that it is and things would be like that.
It is harder, much harder...because I realized that you fall in love with the wrong person, the wrong time, and sometimes for the wrong reasons. And it is much painful when in your mind, you know that it won't work, and you know that you'll surely get hurt but in your heart, it continues to beat, echoing the same name. The worst thing in all of it? It is when you are trying to live your life, slowly freeing yourself from those feelings and then, from time to time, receiving glimmers of hope for love that you've been hoping for. Are you trying to send me a message? Or are you just trying to get a hold on me for selfish reasons? Just like what the quote said...I hope you'd decide now. So I could stop the "what if's" and "could be's". So I won't get confused, whether to wait or start forgetting and go on with my life.
sarah =) ♥ 3:01 PM link to post 2 comments